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>On Film, Oscar…and falling down.

February 28, 2011

>Once again, I owe an apology to anyone who thinks that this blog is updated “regularly”. Life keeps getting in the way, but I promise to try and be more scheduled in the future (as soon as my life evens out a bit).

I was out of town for the past few months days (sometimes I think that my cross-country–holy hell I just wrote “cuntry”…bedtime?–move is just an out of town trip) and I promise I’ll write about that little jaunt up to Santa Barbara/Solvang soon, but for the time being, let’s talk Oscar.

Now, whether or not you’re a fan of watching the show each year or not is irrelevant to this story. I happen to think of the Oscars as my Superbowl, as in even if I’m not a fan of anyone who might win, I’ll still watch for the spectacle of it all, not like my biggest night of the year. And not to sound like a whiny Winnie, but the quality of films made in the past few years is akin to the quality of wine I can afford (read: lowbrow). In this harsh economy the movies that studios are investing in tend to be crowd-pleasing, star-studded bore-fests (or plotless action flicks), not new ideas (and no, I don’t think that The Kids Are All Right was innovative or forward-thinking, I think that it was a movie that should have been made ten years ago to deserve those accolades, and I understand that it wasn’t, which shows its perseverance, but it was full of A-listers and, honestly, full of, appropriate, but still abundant cliches about alternative families, California, and way too much in the way of trendy liberalism–which I’m sure is rooted in honest-to-goodness good intent, but is just too easy for me to buy or care about. PS: I actually kind of liked the movie.) or new faces. Yes, I’m biased because I’m a young actor trying to get her foot in the door in a very incestuous, incredibly self-serving, self-perpetuating, business. And I stress the word business because that is what it is, and what it has to be these days; studios can’t lose millions of dollars, because then they lose credibility, and money and power, and no one wants to lose that.

ANYWAY, where I’m going with all of this (do I even remember after that Kids Are All Right rant? Have I mentioned that I love Julianne Moore? Each and every freckle of talent on that woman. And of course Annette…of course. Good God, I need to stop rambling, or just go to sleep) is that I was at these 83rd Annual Academy Awards today. Yes, ma’am, I was on the red carpet, I was at the Kodak Theatre, I was ” Ello!”-d by Russell Brand. Was I happy about it? No. Was I wearing shine-able, no-slip black shoes, a tie and unflattering slacks? Yes. Did I feel like I was in a boring episode of Party Down where no one is drunk and the lead character’s hangover doesn’t come with Lizzie Caplan’s dry wit? Fo’ sho.

Back it UP and write in sentences not questions, please? Surely. Today I catered the Oscars. I was working at the end of the red carpet holding a [absurdly heavy] tray of Moet & Chandon Imperial Champagne. Last night I co-hosted a party at my home and surrounding areas that included a keg of beer, a fire pit, and a plethora of Oreos. This resulted in today’s “festivities” including severe liver and kidney pain, headache, and…umm…fatigue? (aka: a hangover). It was also about 50º in LA, which sounds all balmy to those of you stuck in the snow back east, but is really frickin freezing when you’re not wearing a jacket or a scarf and you’re in an open air building with the wind blasting through and you’re carrying a cold aluminum tray, no haters. I’m not trying to be a brat or anything, but I think I’m done with catering here in Hollywood. I have enough other income now that I’m more settled and I honestly just can’t stomach the thought of having to, quite literally, serve the people who I want to work alongside (or replace…because we all know that Portman won herself some maternity leave tonight). Maybe that’s the wrong attitude, maybe I have to pay my dues, but I don’t think so, and I’ll tell you this much, I don’t plan on stepping one foot on that red carpet ever again, unless I have an invitation and a pair of Louboutins.

Oh, and I’m pretty sure it’s a sign that when I left I nearly killed myself. Briefly: I was running (hey, I was freezing) to my car in the parking garage with such excitement (“IgettoleaveandI’mgonnaorderthaifoodandkickstartthedvrandputonmymansweaterandsweatpants!!”) that I didn’t even NOTICE the curb separating the parking spots and straight up ATE PAVEMENT flying over it. So…now I have nice abrasions, cuts and bruises on both sides and all extremities of my body. Clumsy, for the win!

Okay, now it really is bedtime. I hope you all enjoyed that journey. (That was too long, huh? Sorry)

A
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One Comment leave one →
  1. March 2, 2011 12:19 AM

    >Perhaps next year you could be one of the "sitees" at the Oscars. These are extras that sit in the back and sides of the Kodak,or take the place of stars who have to answer "nature's call". Producers do this because neither the network or the Academy don't want the audience to see empty seats!!

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