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January 2, 2012

Like most humans, I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook. On the one hand it allows me to keep in touch with so many friends in faraway places, but on the other hand it is time-consuming, publicly humiliating (at times), and just exhausting. However, I activated the new “Timeline” feature accidentally last week and my feelings are very mixed, but mostly I’m trying to not waste too much time looking at my own Facebook page because it’s just so…wasteful. Of course today I’m sitting at a cafe trying to work on a writing project that I’ve been in morphing into different scripts for almost two years now so it seemed like as good a time as any to spend forty minutes on my own page. Well, I’m glad I did because I found one of the only “notes” I ever posted to my page. I’ve reprinted it below because I think it might be interesting as it’s a reflection on the year 2008 at year’s end. Enjoy!

“I’ve never written a note and am apprehensive to do so, but I feel the need to sum up the past year. Therefore, if you don’t care, simply don’t read on.

As I sit here on my couch on east 3rd street forwarding emails from my college account to my gmail (due to the fact that the college removes our accounts starting in January) I realize that the end of 2008 marks not only another year gone, but the end of my previous life as a dependent and, as 2009 rolls in, the beginning of a new, independent existence.

Looking back on this year I realize just how incredibly fortunate I am. I rang in 2008 somewhere between Florida and the Bahamas on a cruise made possible by Mark and Dolores (who are possibly the most generous people I’ve ever met), toasting champagne next to a steel drum band with Caity and Rachel, the two girls who know me inside and out and are as irreplaceable as anyone’s blood sisters.

From there it was on to my last semester at Hobart and William Smith. I never could have predicted the love affair I have had with that place. Leaving was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, and despite our unbelievable (no seriously, you wouldn’t believe a quarter of the stories I’ve got, and if you’ve heard them, or were there to live them, you probably aren’t sure you want to believe/remember them) experiences, and our lack of discretion, our bickering, our reluctance to admit how in love with each other we really are, we managed to find each other, and as a result I have the world’s most amusing and fantastic group of friends. I quite simply have no regrets about how I spent my last four months in Geneva, NY. And watching the sun rise over Seneca Lake the morning after graduating was quite possibly the most bittersweet, beautiful moment of my life. (check the album, the photos don’t do it justice) On Sunday May 18th I received my BA in English from William Smith College.

The summer of 2008 was one for the books. The weekend spent at Heather’s house on Lake George was quite possibly my ideal vacation. However, it seems as though each summer I meet people who I never want to wash off myself. This was hardly an exception. I registered for the summer session at the Strasberg Institute in NYC as a segue into “real life” and to give myself a crash course in “how to make it” as an actor (i’m still waiting on those results, people!). Not only did I learn more than I ever expected, but once again I met people who changed my views of existence. How most of these people insisted on spreading themselves out over the globe like a bunch of cheap margarine come September, I still resent, however, they made August 2008 one of the most intensely beautiful months ever and helped me to see New York City in a way I never had before. Plus, that six day booze bender wasn’t so bad either (hell of a detox though).

The fall was kicked off by an incredible and food and drink infused labor day weekend at Will’s absolutely gorgeous home in Rhode Island. As it got colder I spent most of the fall whining about wanting to move out of my parent’s house and attempting to save money by bartending at Axia. I earned a place in an improv troupe in New Jersey, and a few small acting jobs, and come November, found this fantastic apartment on 3rd st and Avenue A with Rachel. Once again, I hit the luck jackpot by aimlessly wondering around the east village one afternoon (something I’ve gotten embarrassingly good at) and stumbled upon Paprika, the restaurant that currently provides me with the means to pay my rent (and buy all those unnecessary, yet fabulous, new dresses). Since moving I’ve found that living in Manhattan and being a Bridge and Tunnel Girl (yeah, I’ll admit it) are two vastly different lifestyles. My first week I slept with cotton in my ears and a shirt tied over my eyes. My second week, I sat at a coffee shop alone for lunch and cried over my latte in self-loathing (apparently one CAN spend too much time alone). By now, I have become accustomed to my new lifestyle and am addicted to St. Marks Books, Yoga To The People, going to the movie’s alone, indian lunch specials, and every novel my parents recommend. (Read City of Dreams if you haven’t. Anyone who’s ever been to New York, or is an American should read that book).

As 2009 looms (and the dreaded high expectations for New Year’s Eve are closing in on us) I look forward to a new President (insert largest sigh of relief ever exhaled), endless auditions, new challenges, new friends, old friends, more acting classes, less party fouls (sidenote: apologies if I’ve broken any glassware, heirlooms, artwork, electronics, doors, or caused physical harm of any kind in your homes, we all know I can’t quite control my limbs-add glass of wine-lessen extremity control-), shows, parties, films, and more experiences that will fade faster into our nostalgic memory banks than anyone wants them to.

If I’ve learned anything this year it is that you live in the world that you create for yourself, and the people that surround you serve as a framework for your own personal story. We all know that I’m an eternal optimist, however, the world that we live in is a place far more beautiful than we choose to acknowledge on a daily basis. So I will end this epic note (I have a proclivity to ramble that I may never shake) by encouraging those of you enduring enough to have reached this final paragraph to pause every so often, let your pulse slow, and take a 360º look around you; look up, look down, and a take a breath; remember that we only get a certain number of years here and then, who knows. Take that moment to sort out what really matters and let everything else break off of your conscience. This world wasn’t made for us to destroy…take a breath, take a chance, open your eyes, and live your story.”

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