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Doubt II: The Sequel, but Different

July 12, 2011

I’ve lived in Los Angeles for over six months now, and I still don’t know if moving here was the right choice. I suppose that’s the way that choices work, you just make one and you can either spend the rest of your life agonizing over whether or not it was right or not or you can just go down that path and know that it will lead you somewhere that you were meant to go. I choose the latter. I’ve always been the type to make a decision and leave it at that, not dwell on it but understand that life is about paths and the ones that you chose ultimately have to be right because they are reality. Does that make any sense?

Well, here I am, one sublet, two apartments and a dog later, still wondering “what if?”. Logically, I know that moving here was a good decision; the opportunity for success is infinitesimally greater, I’ve made more progress in six months than I did in two years in New York (although that statistic is negotiable), and New York is becoming a more and more difficult city to break in to show business in. But illogically, which is the way I think most of the time (don’t we all?), I wonder if moving out of the city that you ultimately want to live in forever is just an all around bad idea. I mean, I know that I want to live in Brooklyn. I know that my immediate family is never going to leave the eastern seaboard. If I know all of this, then why am I in California? I mean I know why, but does it make any sense? If I ultimately want to be somewhere else, why am I setting up camp and putting down roots and building a network elsewhere?

Happiness is relative, but relative to what? Why torture yourself by being 3,000 miles away from that roasted nut/garbage/coffee smell and everything else you irrationally are umbilically (new word?) tied to? Is it torture if you’re five steps closer to reaching your life goals? At what point does your whole life feel like a sacrifice? (Mine doesn’t, for the record…just pondering the important things).

Who has the answers?

LA IS upside down

(hint: we all d0)

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