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Like that guy said that time, the times, they are a changin’

May 9, 2011

I meant to write an appropriately timed Mother’s Day post, but the day slipped away from me. The past whole week has slipped away from me, at times literally. If I end up in an asylum, remember this as the week that I said, “hmm, maybe I’m starting to really lose my grip on reality/sanity”. Highlights/lowlights are as follows:

-Not crying over [a truck of] spilled cupcakes…just cleaning it up

-Working Cinco de Mayo at an under-bartended, trendy, over-hyped Mexican restaurant

-Running a red light. Blatantly.

-Completely unintentionally blowing off a very important engagement

-Realizing that I may not, despite the post earlier this week, be as happy as I thought I was.

Let me break it down for you here, in a generalized manner, so as to not feel like a narcissistic dbag (even though I know I have been lately).

I have begun to realize that there are levels of adulthood, and these levels are attained, or beaten (if you prefer video-game lingo) by taking certain leaps of faith and chances with your own life. For example, signing your first lease, and then signing a lease without a guarantor for the first time, and then, signing a long-term lease with someone you are in a relationship with. Or, doing your own taxes, or having to find a new doctor in a new city. Or moving out of your parents’ house, and then moving across the country from your family, friends, and almost everything you know. I promise this is at least a LITTLE bit about Mother’s Day and my Mommapants (to be fair, I just call her Mom. Jill when she’s not listening. So mostly just Jill. No, I’m being nice. Not making jokes. I call her Mom and she listens very well. Sometimes. Except when I ramble. She’d so have tuned me out by now. I’ve tuned me out. It’s why I ran that red light. At least I didn’t spill a truck full of cupcakes this week. Oh wait. Well, at least I still have my memory and I’m not unintentionally missing important events because I don’t know what day it is. Oh shit. Balls. Where’s that asylum again? Can they check me in tomorrow, or is tomorrow Sunday? It’s Sunday today? WHERE IS THE CALENDAR!?)

ANYWAY. I’m a little flipped around lately cause I have all these big kid things happening and I’ve been so busy and seemingly self-sufficient that I haven’t felt the need to call my Mommy. Well, today I called her, because, well, because if I didn’t I’d be a pretty ungrateful bitch, and I realized something about my needs in this current, transient phase of adulthood: Sometimes I want my Mommy, and I’ll always need my Mother, but more often, I just would like to talk to my Mom about almost everything. There were times, many, many times, when we did not get along and when I resented her for almost everything (as daughters are wont to do) but I’ve come to realize that she wants to listen (sort of) and sometimes what you need, is just to talk it out with Mom.

On another, related note (pun intended), I cannot believe that my brother is graduating from college next week. In an attempt to prove the insufficiency of my job I told the little bro that I’d only be able to fly east for his graduation if I made over a certain amount of money at work one particular night, assuming that that much money was out of the question. Well, one $313 plane ticket later I’ve learned the value of a reasonably priced strong margarita, a few trendy tacos, and the powers of flirting with customers. I’ll be in New York and Boston for a week (collectively) and I’m a little bit nervous about the visit. I’ve kept myself so busy that I haven’t had time to register the fact that I just signed a year lease here in Los Angeles and that I haven’t been talking to my friends from home nearly as much as I anticipated that I would.

Is it inevitable that we will drift apart? Was my Mom right when she said I’d never come home?

Oh, Sunday night, you always get me thinking…

2 Comments leave one →
  1. May 9, 2011 5:40 AM

    You’re rather rad, if not a bit too hard on yourself, you know.

  2. Matt permalink
    May 13, 2011 11:02 PM

    It was Bob Seger right?
    Or was it Dylan Thomas?
    It was one of the two…or both.

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