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Why I can’t talk about Russell Brand or the state of world affairs.

March 20, 2011

I want so badly to not find this attractive.

Growing up, I used to revel in the fact that I lived somewhere that was safe from natural disasters. Being in the Northeast and not living on the beach I was pretty certain that I wasn’t going to get hit by a hurricane, a tornado, an earthquake or a wildfire. But now I live in California and it’s pouring and I’m pretty sure that I almost blew over on the highway today and there is most likely a massive flood in the laundry room and tomorrow there could very well be a huge quake (knock on wood) and next week a fire will probably torch the rubber off of my tires, and I got six phone calls last week asking how far away from the beach I lived in case those tsunami waves came my way (17 miles, jus

t in case any of you were worried), I’m scared now. But worse than that, there was a tornado in Brooklyn a few months ago, there will probably be a huge earthquake in New York in the next few years, and people are still listening to The Black Eyed peas…clearly the world is ending and none of us are safe anymore.

I was going to write about all of this worldly nonsense, but it’s just too much. I want to talk about Libya but I don’t know how to spell that guy’s name and I refuse to contribute to the chaos by picking a variation. Also, I have literally no words for what’s happening in Japan. I wish there was an answer, or a payoff, or a rational explanation, but nature does what nature does and our abuse of the planet may or may not have anything to do with it. I’m just sorry, that’s all. I’m sorry that I can’t write about this eloquently and offer insight and hope. My brain is full, though, full of terrible television. My DVR is just stocked full of bad tv shows that I don’t watch when my boyfriend is home because he h

ates them and will move out before watching a full episode of Glee, so I’m going to talk about this garbage instead.

Three things happened on this week’s Glee that I wasn’t ready for: a) I’m still watching this show…still b) Chris Colfer made me cry before the second commercial (damn you for singing Blackbird) and c)…sigh…Lea made me laugh. I deleted that paragraph and rewrote it three times. I want to say that that’s the most embarrassing thing I’m going to write tonight, but it’s not. I just laughed out loud at a commercial for Arthur. Damn you, Russell Brand. I can’t believe I’m going to fork over $12.50 to see that studio-churned remake.

I’msecretelysoexcitedbecauseRussellBrandmakesmefeelwarmandfuzzyininappropriateplacesandthat’ssogrossandIshouldbeabletogetmyselftostopusingapostropheswhenIdothisbutIjustcan’tandRussellBrandsaid’ELLOtomeandI’mprettysurethatheandKatyarebreakingupandheandIaregoingtohavescruffyBritishbabiestogetherandwhoopsandsorryandIthinkmyMomhasthisblogaddressnowwhathaveIdone?Whoops.

Oh hey, Glee,man-on-man kiss. Cool.

Additionally, I’d like to express my complete disdain for Peter Krause’s character on Parenthood. Also the way he moved Nate’s character arc on Six Feet Under. I think he might be an insufferably serious, dramatic human being and I think I hate him. Harsh? Meh, he sucks. In other news, Lauren Ambrose still makes me want to paint things and sing and have a really badass career. Thanks, L.Ambrose! PS: Totally loved when you and Seth Green banged it out in the bathroom in Can’t Hardly Wait too…and when you tried to tame crazy Billy Chenowith. Oh man, I’m TV rambling again. PPS: I started watching The Sopranos for the first time ever, from the Pilot onward. As a partial Italian from New Jersey *shudder**Ihateadmittingthat* I can’t believe I’m only saying this now in 2011.

Have you forgotten that The Black Eyed Peas are still famous, we’re in another war, another generation of Japanese might suffer from radiation, I have chills watching this stupid singing show, our President probably won’t “change” all that much after all, the world is falling apart, yet?

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