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>Traffic to Apples…and other things that don’t make sense.

February 2, 2011

>I used to draft blog posts on my phone on the subway. Now the only thing I can do while I’m weaving through side-streets to avoid clogged freeways and backed up boulevards is tense up my shoulders and scream through my bluetooth to whomever is, unfortunately, on the receiving end of that particular phone call.

I’m not trying to make excuses, I honestly have less time to blog when it takes me over an hour to get home from ––––. That line=anything that I might have to do. Like go to the grocery store, or have lunch with an old colleague of my father’s, go to an audition, or perform in a show. I’m so burnt out by the time that I get home at any given point, that I don’t have time to form my thoughts into any sort of coherent stream of thoughts. I’ve actually started forcing myself to deep breathe in the car. I’m one of those lunatics who’s “oooommmmmmm”-ing through traffic, and I’ll admit it. If it means that I won’t drive my car off of an overpass then it’s worth it.

Honestly, though, I have been pretty busy. All that grief to find one good job and I get three part-time jobs that pay me a big mac above a fast food salary. Sigh. What can you do?

Remember when I mentioned the raw food diet? (Shameless plug for nothing) Well, that bad boy has been seriously effective. Effective to a detrimental point. I started doing it to lose a few pounds to feel better about myself at a time when I was broke, unemployed, and unable to exercise. Well, now I’m employed, my foot has healed, I’m still broke, and none of my clothes fit. I know that no one wants to hear about how you have to go buy new pants because you’ve lost weight…but I’m telling you for some reason anyway. Bottom line…if anyone has recently gone up a denim size and would like to trade, I’d be down. And I’d buy you a milkshake, because I’m that kind of douchebag.

Anyway, I performed twice this past weekend and the results were to my liking, for the most part. I had a great turnout of friends which is always nice, and my new material seemed to go over well. The show on Friday was the best show, all around, that I’ve ever been a part of. The energy was great and the audience was really involved. Last night was the polar opposite. Monday night’s are rough, but this was a whole different story. Between the 60 year old woman wearing a sequined shirt in the audience who was constantly heckling the comedians and talking about her six children (who were all in attendance), the Flamenco dancing street artist who fancied himself a comedian and gave a painting away onstage, and the three other female comics who felt the need to go into grotesque details about sex…to be more specific, there was a lot of, “my pussy doesn’t get fucked enough” and the like, I felt like I was performing in a talent show at an insane asylum. I think I just moved my blog into a whole new category of NSFW, but seriously…obscene.

To validate the decency of this blog I’ve added a photo of my coffee table centerpiece. Enjoy your Tuesday night/Wednesday morning/snow day (I hear there’s snow ’round some parts…)

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