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>The The-ater

October 15, 2010

>Earlier this month, in an attempt to soak up as much culture as possible before moving to the coast where the only cultural advantage is being able to make a right on red (give credit where credit is due: @WoodyAllen) I made sure to register for as many performances as possible when I got tickets to Free Night of Theatre. So far there have been three shows I’ve had tickets to, the first I knew I wouldn’t be able to go to so I gave it away, the second I made the mistake of going to an All-You-Can-Drink brunch before and managed to sleep straight through, and the third I gave away in exchange for a catering job. Sigh. But last night I went, I went and experienced a play at a theatre downtown about Mexican Immigrants. I think. Needless to say, it was awful. Well, at least I think it was awful. I have no idea what it was at all really.

So during the show I made a list of all the things that I’d rather be watching than “this”. It is as follows:
  • An elephant jerking off
  • Midgets playing kickball
  • My mom playing solitaire
  • Morgan Freeman wearing a sweatsuit and taking a nap
  • A twelve inning semi-professional softball game
  • The kitchen staff at any restaurant singing along to their mp3 players
  • A drunk couple making out
  • A recitation of German love poems
  • A production of 2HenryVI starring Robert Pattinson
  • Two episodes of Two and a Half Men
And with that, I bid you a happy weekend. 
4 Comments leave one →
  1. October 16, 2010 7:52 AM

    >Sorry it wasn't quite the culturally illuminating experience you were looking for. Re: kitchen staff singing along to mp3 players. I was walking to the station the other day and noticed people kept looking at me as a bird had shat on my head or something. I then realised I was humming along to my iPod, out loud. I was very embarrassed. It wasn't even a good song.

  2. October 17, 2010 10:49 AM

    >I actually pronounce "theater" like that. The first few years of art school in Vermont were hard.I was rolling at this. Reminded me of a story a professor once told me about a Beckett produced play which was just a homeless man defecating on the stage.

  3. October 21, 2010 2:14 PM

    >Does an elephant jerk off with his trunk or fumble around with his flat feet? HmmmmmmMorgan Freeman taking a nap would be memorizing.

  4. October 23, 2010 5:12 AM

    >Hehe. Sounds like a really, really bad play. Your list made me laugh a lot. Though I think I would prefer watching Morgan Freeman take a nap over doing a lot of things.

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