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>I’m a Jerk-Tales From the Vault

September 21, 2010


So in my afternoon perusal of all things internet (read: shamelessly stalking Facebook status updates and judging those who write them) I received a Facebook chat from a girl I went to college with. She was a freshman when I was a senior, but we danced together a lot that year. I don’t mean like grinding to “Love In This Club” (although I’m pretty sure that may have happened once or twice…don’t judge me), I mean in class, like I was a dance minor. Anywaaayyys, she’s a senior now and doing an evaluation of a Professor we had in the spring of 2008 (a professor that I really liked, mind you, I mean, I babysat for her children on the weekends, we were cool) and has been reading through all of the end-of-term evaluations of her classes from the past few years. These evaluations are anonymous so as to encourage students to help the department and the professor improve her or his class, and to encourage obnoxious students to be assholes.
The conversation is as follows:
k: i believe i found yours

me: how do you know?

k: it is characteristically sarcastic

me: hahaha oh man

k: “how could the class be improved?”
“it is way too early”
was the response

me: hmmm, that might be me. I don’t know

k: “what did you gain from this course?”
response: “a caffeine addiction”

i remember writing that


k: your suggestions for improvement:
“invest in a new stereo”

me: i’m such an asshole

k: what did you find helpful?
“feet-having them”

me: shut up
i must have been drunk

k: how could the method of presentatoin be improved?
“bright colors”

me: HA
im the worst
do not let me be anonymous

k: i’ll be like FUCKING ADRIA commented on [professor’s name]’s hopelessly drab wardrobe

i can’t believe that

k: i can

me: clearly the mark of a second semester senior

k: i knew that the snarky ass evaluation was yours

Choose your own ending:

Moral of the story? Do not ask your hungover dance students to write evaluations of the class when it is 8 am, 75º outside and they’re graduating in five days. 

Or: Moral of the story? I’m a terribly rude, vain, sarcastic human being who thinks she’s just hi-larious and should be punished for her offenses.

PS: I really did love this professor. Gosh, now I feel bad. Sigh, where are the m&ms?
One Comment leave one →
  1. September 24, 2010 2:42 AM

    >If I were a professor, I'd LOVE that evaluation. You are hysterical.

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