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>Another kind of Teddy Graham…Gram. Bear. arg

September 8, 2010

>It’s been less than a week and I already am all, like, oh my god, um, I like, totally, um, need my own space! I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy to have friends who are kind enough to open their doors, beds, and showers to me, but I’m not suited to this. I like staying up as late as I want or going to bed as early as I want. I like randomly eating blackberries in bed at 3 am while watching Friday Night Lights on Netflix. I miss Really Bear. I know, it’s pathetic, right? But leaving that 24 year old bear just sitting on top of a heap of my stuff was so sad.

It’s funny, I babysat today and noticed that the mom (who is but two years my senior) has a teddy bear on her bed, and I couldn’t help but think (ugh, sorry, the Carrie Bradshaw phrase is sometimes unavoidable) that it was sad that she has a baby and still needs to sleep with a teddy bear. Look at me again, all Judgey McJudgersauce just cause my generic Yaz prescription isn’t fucked by my consumption of alcohol and I’ve been lucky enough to still have not dropped a pill on the street that I couldn’t find. In fact, I took my pill today while sitting on a park bench holding this 9 month old. I’d like to think that the German tourists walking by muttered something along the lines of, “that skankerkraut jew seems to have learned her lesson, cackle cackle cackle.” Sorry. I went there.

Speaking of going there, I found this website today on the bottomless hole of generally useless, uninteresting, super TMI information that is my Facebook newsfeed. I’ve taken to calling it Fah-chay book again, as if I were Italian. I mean, I am Italian, but not like, speaking Italian, Italian. OOh, seems I’ve gone back to my illogical, non-sensical rants again. Look at me, I’m rambling about my teddy bear, birth control, failure to look aryan, Jew-Italian status, Hitler, and made fun of all of my fah-chay book friends.

I did run eight miles today, though, so let’s call it a wash, and chalk it up to the insanity that comes from deciding to train for a second half marathon. I’d be proud of myself for burning 1,000 calories today, but I rationalized a whole extra meal as a result, so again, wash.

A
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2 Comments leave one →
  1. September 9, 2010 4:36 AM

    >You're hilarious. And you're moving to LA. YES! let's make each other do more stand-up so we're not quitters. Deal? Deal. Also, I hate teddy bears.

  2. September 9, 2010 5:59 PM

    >Absolutely. Done. I need to fix my "routine" asap.When's your next show?

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