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>Typewriters? And other Friday Goodies

May 21, 2010

>I could try and organize my thoughts into organized paragraphs resembling some sort of coherent, interconnected blog post, but I’d rather not put the energy into that right now, so you’re getting a bullet point list of things that are overwhelming me today.

  • I’m doing a paid audition seminar type thing for an agent tonight and I have to read commercial copy for a Hershey’s bar. I’m nervous, but I feel like I could sell chocolate to an Easter Bunny, so we’re good.
  • I cannot (literally) stop listening to “Aeroplane” by The Everybodyfields. It’s so perfectly sad and gorgeous.
  • The way that Bloc Party reminds me of last summer is probably the way Passion Pit will remind me of this summer. I got excited realizing that today.
  • Why is my calendar full up until mid-July? Why don’t I have any time?! What is going on!?
  • I won $100 in an online contest on If that sounds skeevy, even for me, know that I submitted one of the personal ads that I wrote for my play, and it was [partially] fictional. But I totally got paid through PayPal today (because I was too sketched out to give the guy my address, for fear of a large man in a furry dalmation costme coming to my apartment-see, last night’s “Community”) and that is very exciting.
  • Speaking of my play, how is it still not written? Why can’t I just sit down and figure it out?! 
  • I’ve been working on my stand-up routine (mostly in the shower) and I’ve come to a conclusion…I’m going to cry onstage, out of fear and embarrassment when no one laughs. I tried to write out my opener but typing “Hey guys, how are you doing tonight” makes me feel like a tool.
  • I’m mad at my parents for being unemotional fucks right now. Which is rude of me.
  • My boss told me yesterday to type a letter for her. On the typewriter. And after I started trying to do that she came over and told me I could use the computer. And then, when I printed her letter she had me edit it for formatting and reprint it. And then, she read it and realized she wanted to change what it said, and had me change it and reprint it again. And then, she thought the formatting was still off so she had me fix it and print it again. If you need a scapegoat for the lack of oxygen on the planet due to deforestation in a few years, find her. 
  • Today, boss also made me roll down the sleeves on the stupid white labcoat that she makes me wear. Because she’s crazy. And then I alphabetized hundreds of file cards. $13/hour is bullshit for someone with a college degree, no matter what the job, but this woman is nuts. She’s just used to her other receptionist and adverse to change, I guess. Because she’s old. Ugh.
  • It recently occurred to me that while I’ve spent the past two years staying up all night, cultivating an interest in non-mainstream music, listening to Lady Gaga anyway, complaining, quitting a perfectly good job, trying to write a play and taking fucking forever to do so, pretending to be funny, and (the only actual accomplishment) losing 15-ish pounds, my friends have been doing actually amazing things. Two of my closest friends are going to law school in the fall, another is going to medical school (after having just received a Masters in Public Health-so while she’s an MPH MD, I’ll just be your average BA, JO<—that stands for Jerk Off). Two more close friends are enrolled in graduate programs, one while working a full time job and still finding time to read this blog, indulge my relentless gchatting and needy relationship questions. My roommate got a bonus the size of her boobs (har har har) last year, another friend decided (with a little help) that her life was unsatisfying and unhealthy and she up and 180-ed the bitch around and then got a job at a major magazine where she scores free stuff and gets to oogle Anna Wintour in the elevator. Another got her dream job at a certain conservative entertainment, BAH, I mean News Network and wakes up at ungodly hours to commute down from her awkwardly adult cohabitation apartment to get to work (even if she bashes my head in with her hours on a daily basis). Basically, I’m really proud of all of my friends for their pursuits of “something greater”, whatever that may be.
  • What the fuck was that above? Who am I, the Lifetime Channel? UGHHH, I’m like a vat of nacho cheese today.
  • When I work at the Drs office I no longer eat lunch…I buy a banana and an apple from the fruit vendor outside of the Met and proceed to eat York Peppermint Patties (a delicious, low fat candy-just practicing for later), Tootsie Rolls (poop in wax paper!), and Hershey Kisses (cue dramatic “mmm” face) all afternoon until I feel sick and forget what real food tastes like. Gross.
  • I just tried to turn my head and answer the phone at the same time and ended up bashing my nose with the receiver. What’s wrong with me?

Alright, I think we’ve all had enough of the ramblings for this Friday, plus I have to go YELP a restaurant for dinner tonight, so I’m outie, Cher.

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