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March 23, 2010

>Remember a few weeks ago when there was that whole scandal at JFK because some morons let their kids direct air traffic? I still think that’s pretty funny, I mean, obviously the parent was right there telling the kid what to say, and that kid got to go home and tell all his friends at school that he helped a 747 land! What a great playground story. Anyway, segue please? Yes. I’ve answered five or six phone calls today from small children. Not teenagers, not even awkward middle schoolers, but KIDS. I’m going to say something here, and you’re not going to like it, but I bet that is something that is much more frequently happening here, it being a law firm of predominantly women (all partners are female) than in many other offices. I’m not saying its bad that a four year-old call his Mommy at work, I’m just saying “where’s the nanny?” I have a hard enough time remembering the name of ANYONE who calls here (unless I write it down…obviously I’m harboring the short-term memory of someone middle aged, aka my Mommy) let alone the gender of your four year-old.

This just happened:

Me: Good afternoon [it’s after 4:00, I’ve got it by now] Blank and Blank”
Child: Hi, can I speak to my Mommy.
Me: Uhhhhhhh, what’s your Mommy’s name?
Child: Mona.
Me: And what’s your name?
Child: Maaaahhhh.
Me: Ummmmmmmm, hang on.
I press hold, I intercom Mona. No answer.
Me: She’s in a meeting actually, do you want me to tell her you called? Is it important?
Genderless Maaaahhh: Just tell her, yeah. Bye.
I reluctantly approach the “Attractive, young-ish woman” in the office, whose desk is close by.
Me: Ummmm, yeah this might be a really dumb question.
Attractive office girl: [blank stare]
Me: So one of Mona’s kids just called, and I don’t want to tell her the name of the wrong kid, but I couldn’t understand.
AOG: Was it a girl or a boy?
Me: That’s the problem, cause you know, sometimes you can’t tell with kids? Especially on the phone.
AOG: Her daughter is Lily.
Me: Sounds good, I’ll go email her.
AOG: And her son is Max.
Me: Oh. Umm, yeah, it was Max.

So basically I’m an idiot. You should see my face when I call my parents’ house. Both my brothers and my father all have the exact same voice now that the youngest is properly pubescent (grrrooooosssssss) so when any of them answer the phone I go through all of their names before getting the right one. It’s agonizing, I dread it. I just call cell numbers now. My ex-boyfriend once played that trick on me by having his brother call me. Not funny. Especially if you know the whole story. (You don’t want to)

In other news, I’ve gotten a ridiculous amount of menial office tasks today. Alphabetizing? Copying and pasting file labels in roughly 9,000 documents? Affixing file labels? Blaaaahhhhhh. In other news, there’s new candy in the kitchen.


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