New Project!

I’ve just launched the first installment of my new fiction column for a great new site about “dating” in this post-dating world. Check it out, spread it around, buy it a few shots of Jameson, you know.

Check it out here!

 

On Cities and Love

What happens when you can no longer pretend to be dissatisfied with Los Angeles, but you….just…love it? Were you pretending or did you really, really hate it at some point? Sure, the traffic is miserable and most of the people are made out of the air they put inside the plastic balls in the ball pits at fast food restaurants, but when you look past that, this is actually a pretty incredible place.

Let’s back up. I never wanted to fall in love with LA, in fact, my biggest fear has always been that I would move here and want to stay. Someone once said they left their heart in San Francisco, and call me old fashioned but I always want my heart to be in my body. There is only one first love, and for me there is only one true love, and New York will always be that. Few things have changed for the long term, I still want to “end up” in New York (whatever that means, and daily it means different things), but I am happier here on the day-to-day now.

A few weeks ago when my friends were in town something changed for me regarding my relationship with this city. I had spent so much time focusing on how difficult it is to have fun here that I forgot to just have fun. I realized that it wasn’t the city of Los Angeles that was holding me back, but the lack of gusto and the right friends being around. So I took matters in to my own hands and decided that I was developing nice enough friendships with a few people to push them in to what I like to call “serious friendships”, you know, girls you talk to more than once a week. So I had a brunch party. And almost no one showed up, but the people that did, well, we made plans for more things and those more things turned in to more and more things and before you knew it I was lying on my deck in a bikini two weekends in a row with the same crowd. Boom. A few long walks in the neighborhood smelling honeysuckle and several glasses of wine and I can fall in love with just about anything.

It doesn’t help that every time I talk to my Mom about doing anything enjoyable here she responds with “You’re never coming back, are you?”. She’s not trying to be rude, it’s our way, the passive aggressive, I’d-tell-you-that-I-miss-you-but-you-have-to-obviously-just-know-that-right?, guilt-tripping way of saying “I miss having you nearby”, which she also says, every other time. It makes it harder to enjoy things, though. I know that’s not what she’s trying to do, but every time I make a new friend or take a walk up in to the Echo Park hills and marvel at the gorgeous cottages along the Elysian Park border with their tall palm trees, lush gardens, views of downtown and the mountains I worry that I’m getting deeper and deeper in to staying here. Leaving places is hard, I form strong attachments to people and places. I refuse to put my childhood teddy bear (Really Bear)  anywhere more than twenty feet away from the bed that I sleep in, so, come on. So why be so afraid of being happy? Why be so afraid to enjoy being here, now? Because, it’s too scary to be okay with it, for now. But damn, it feels nice to wake up and feel lucky to be where you are.

Also, I really don’t miss carrying an extra outfit, umbrella and shoes in my huge purse on my shoulder all day. Also, I really miss being able to not worry about driving myself home on a canyon road after two glasses of wine (usually looong after). Also, I really don’t miss emerging from the subway in to a cloud of sweat only to walk up to the street to find that it is 90 degrees and pouring hot, acid rain on my audition outfit. Also, I really going to my parents’ house for dinner once a month. I could do this forever. Bottom line is, I live here in LA right now, I’m going to sit at the rooftop pool at The Standard Downtown all day tomorrow for my day off, and then next Friday, I’m going to take a plane and land at JFK and it will probably be muggy and it will probably rain and I will probably wait way longer for the subway then I expected and be late for dinner or drinks or something, but I won’t care, because I will probably cry tears of joy when that plane lands and then go get some serious Italian food. And then a week later I’ll come back to LA and plan a trip to Palm Springs.

Life is beautiful…

Sunset, Griffith Observatory from Hillhurst Ave

Los Feliz photo shoot outtake

Taking Inventory

OR:

Things I’m Grateful For That I Can’t Believe Are True

This isn’t meant to be a forum where I brag about how amazing my life is (also, I’ve mostly just been using it as a forum to complain about how terrible my life is, which is whiny and terrible and I see that now…sooo, we’re even?), but I feel like it is important to take stock once and a while of all the amazing things you have to be thankful for. Not just on a random Thursday in November, but all year ’round. So here’s some things to be thankful for:

I have a whole slew of family members who not only love me, but are pretty frickin’ stellar human beings.

In my entire post-college life I’ve never not lived a close walking distance from a Two Boots Pizza. That’s four years, two coasts, and four apartments.

I’ve never had a problem that was impossible to overcome. Someone always has my back, just in case. This isn’t a real statistic but I can’t imagine that more than 2% of the world’s population feel this way. I am the 2%. (Insert milk joke).

For inspiration. Having it, needing it, loving it, and thriving off of it.

I have a surplus of love in my life. Of course it doesn’t always feel this way, but when checking in on things that I should be grateful for I sit back and can realize just how much love I have to give and how much love I have headed my way at any given point. This is a true blessing, and shouldn’t ever be taken for granted.

Health. I think that you’d be hard pressed to find a single human being who doesn’t become more and more aware of the importance of being healthy as they grow up. Family members become ill, heartbreaking injuries occur and there is simply nothing more disheartening than aging, but I am fortunate enough to have my health. My body is a capable machine and for the most part it does what I tell it to. This is truly awesome.

 

Off the topic of being lucky, last night I took myself on a super hot solo-date to the movies to see The Dictator. I wore a headband and one of my boyfriend’s t-shirts (sorry…) bought a popcorn and some Sour Patch Watermelons and swiped it all on the AMC gift card my brother got me for Christmas (and I still had to throw down $2 for the candy, oh movie theater prices). Forgetting that I was going to see a movie the day after it came out, at 10 pm on a Thursday in Burbank, CA, I expected a semi-empty theater and walked in to a zoo. A zoo, kids. Like if there weren’t actual animals in there I’d be surprised. I planted myself and my snack-buddies in a handicapped chair, figuring that any actually handicapped patrons would probably attend a theater with less stairs to walk up to. Folks, movie theater etiquette is terrible. The girl in the row in front of me was literally on her phone for the entire movie and the couple who took the two empty seats next to me in my handicapped mini-row were a) drinking Bud Light b) kissing each other complete with smoochy kissing noises enhanced just in case people didn’t know what they were doing, c) talked the entire time and d) the girl kept saying “That’s stoopud” every time something funny happened. Yes, it is stupid, it is a Sacha Baron Cohen movie, it’s stupid funny. Shut up and let me enjoy my dick jokes in peace.

With that, I bid you an excellent weekend. And a photo of me and my best friend (not the Sour Patch Watermelons…)

Silver and Gold

In the past I’ve written a lot about how hard it was to leave my amazing group(s) of friends in New York and move all the way to Los Angeles. I’ve lived here for a year and a half now (what? agh!) and this spring I’ve been fortunate enough to have two separate visits from friends.

The past week has been a blur. Three of my oldest friends came to visit me and to say that we had a good time would be an understatement on par with “Paul Rudd is likeable”. As much as I wish that we all lived in the same city it is reassuring to know that these trips are a welcome possibility. I’ve also written quite a bit about how grown up I feel here in LA, and this past weekend served as a reminder that I’m still very young, very energetic, and not yet retired from the land of “fun”. (Please, please may I never retire away from fun!)

There is something calming about being around people who you can talk to anything about. This may be the obvious statement of the century, but it’s pretty nice to not worry about impressing the people you’re hanging out with, and as sad as it may be, it’s very difficult to have friendships like that. I mean, I had no idea what “dougie-ing” was, but instead of judging me for being a pathetic, homebody who’d rather hang out on the couch with her dog and her boyfriend then go out and listen to top 40 hip-hop in a crowded bar wearing uncomfortable shoes and waiting fifteen minutes to get a watered down vodka soda from the bar, (See what I did there? I injected my terrible attitude and old-lady mentality into an otherwise positive message), they just laughed and put the song on and taught me the “rules”.

All of a sudden I feel like my entire outlook has changed. Los Angeles doesn’t seem like a sunny, foreign land anymore, but a place where happiness can exist. Of course I haven’t been unhappy for the entire eighteen months I’ve lived here but the kind of pure, clean, joyous happiness that I felt in so many of the moments of my time with my friends is hard to come by.  Making close girl friends is very difficult and I only am starting to feel like I have real friendships here in LA. W

hile this feeling is amazing there is nothing quite like the familiarity and giggles that come with being around people you’ve known for over a decade, especially when that decade involves braces, Bat Mitzvahs, Algebra classes, high school musicals (pre-Zac Efron), virginity loss, first apartments, firstreal jobs, and lots and lots of snacks. I can’t wait to build more friendships that are this strong; the old adage proves correct again, silver, gold, new friends, old friends, la di dah.

We went to Las Vegas, we went to Malibu, we hardly slept, we danced for hours and hours, we ate homemade, grilled pizza in a “treehouse” by candlelight, we laughed and laughed and laughed and ate and drank and ate, we took photos on the beach, we took photos in the desert, and I’ve felt a mix of sadness and euphoria ever since they left. Friendship is a beautiful thing and we should be thankful for it, I know I certainly am.

Cinco de Mayo…Malibu

The burger and boozy shake at Holstein’s in Vegas were so good, I cried.

Venice Pizza Party

Love is beach spinning in Malibu

Being the You You Love

I don’t want to be one of those people who never does anything because they’re sitting around waiting for something to happen. I’m afraid I’m going to be one of those people.

When you’re a teenager and in your early twenties it’s easy to think about all of the things that you want to do in your life with reckless abandon. Then all of a sudden things come up. It’s harder to do different things. You’re a little bit older and you know that if you’re going to live in Europe for a few months you should probably just buy that plane ticket and go get that Visa. I want to live in Europe for a few months. I want to pack six dresses, a bikini, a few books and my laptop and go live in Italy for a little while. I want to write a book in between weekend trips to France and Germany. I want to take three hour lunches alternating glasses of red wine with espresso.

I want to really learn how to surf. I want to go to a surf camp in Costa Rica and wake up every morning at dawn to a fresh mango and go to sleep at night with aching arms, salt water in my ears and sand underneath my fingernails.

I want to get yoga teacher certification. I want to spend a week in the forest with my foot in my hand and my breath leveling itself out as the time passes.

And then there’s my career, which I want more than anything. Unfortunately, the realistic career of an actor involves a lot of waiting around. When things pick up they can really pick up, but for most people it’s an endless cycle of either waiting for auditions to come up, or waiting to hear back from auditions, or waiting to hear if you or the other person got the part. So with so much waiting in my future how do I know when to take a break and stop waiting and start doing something else. Not permanently, mind you, but temporarily. When do I take those three months and run off to Tuscany?

Last night I asked myself a question for the first time in a long time, I said, what do you want now, Adria Rose. I meant business, I used my middle name. It hadn’t occurred to me to really think about that question because I know what I want. I know that I’m here in LA to pursue a career that I’ve worked towards for my entire life. But what about now? It’s easy to look at the big picture and have big, lofty goals, but it’s harder to think about what you want short term. The past six months have been incredibly intense and I’ve spent a lot of time and energy on giving to other people and while that has been spectacularly rewarding, I need to start thinking about myself again. Not in a selfish way, but in the same generous manner that I’ve been thinking about others. It’s time to go. Again. Really go. Really get to work on being the person that I’ve dreamt about becoming, living the life that makes me wake up with a smile on my face each morning.

 

I think that starts with waking each morning and putting a smile on your face. And waking to this how could you not?

Nothing about Plaid

I wrote a remarkable piece of literature to post yesterday and then the internet gods decided the web wasn’t ready for that kind of brilliance, so they made it disappear, quite literally, into the internet abyss.

I’m not going to tell you what I wrote about, because it would be impossible to do it justice. Let me just go on telling you a few things that have been in my reality lately.

Girls: The HBO show and the gender.

I spend too much time defending girls. And Girls for that matter. If we can run around saying that guys need to grow up and stop being boys and start being men, then we need to stop behaving like little girls and start behaving like women. I think it was Louis CK who said he never wanted to date another “girl” again. Girls can be mean to each other for no reason. Girls are all too often blinded by jealousy and selfishness. Let’s behave like women if we’re going to call ourselves feminists, hell, even if we’re not.

And yes, I’ve been defending the shit out of Lena Dunham lately. I’m sick of all the backlash. It’s not a show for everyone and it’s not about everyone. It’s a show about upper middle class, white people struggling with their life pursuits without their parents’ help for the first time in their lives. And it’s a comedy. Stop fighting about it. Either watch it or not.

Yogurt Raisins

I fully recognize that in no realistic realm of the universe is this an appropriate sub-topic, and for that I issue full apologies, however…do you know how good those fuckers are? Have you ever grabbed a handful of yogurt raisins and been unhappy?

Yelp

Can I get someone’s level of education, thoughts on homemade dessert vs Twinkies, and whether or not they’ve ever been outside of the US on their Yelp profile before I decide to listen to their review? 68% of people are not up to my standards for recommendations. Just saying. Also, yes, I know I’m being rude. And no, I do not want a bagel with my brunch, LA, I will just get mad.

Intelligence

When I lived in New York I always felt like the dumbest person in the room, and I felt like most of Manhattan’s homeless at least had Bachelor’s degrees. Now that I live in LA, I’m pretty sure my MENSA acceptance letter is on it’s way.

Time

Flies. Seriously. Like an eagle, or a mosquito. I remember when waiting for the last month of school to end was the longest thing in the world. These days, a month goes by and I barely remember to file my nails or shave my legs. (Sorry). Or…write in this blog.

SORRY!

kbyenow here is a picture of a two people posing in a mirror on the set ofThe Shining and Jack Nicholson standing around being fucking awesome. Because the internet is fantastic.

WHAT?! YES

Thursday Thoughts

Pop one’s clogs“ (UK)

Euphemism for dying or death

<—Further proof that the UK is better than us. “Grandma’s looking old these days, she looks ready to pop her clogs.”-awesome

-I’m convinced that Lana Del Rey and Lady Gaga come from the same egg. Take that as you will.

-Last night I fell asleep holding a book open atop my belly. With my glasses on. It was in that moment I realized that I am not moving towards being a sex symbol.

-Children make me sad, because they will grow up and just be people.

-If I had a million dollars, I’d save it. Because a million dollars isn’t enough money for the really awesome things.

-The really awesome things are as follows:

• Being able to pay for your children to go to college.
• Having the luxury to be able to travel and experience more than just a few cities and countries
• Health insurance
• No credit card debt
• One of those great master bathrooms with a jacuzzi tub and a separate shower and a bidet. Just so you can say you have a bidet.
• Only buying produce from overpriced local co-ops and farmer’s markets, to support small business and organic farming.
• Nice shoes, purses, electronic equipment, and jackets/coats
• Being able to fix your car without duct tape

-I’ve been trying to taste water lately, like really taste it, and all it does is make me feel like an alien.

-Buy me this.

-I weigh less than two pounds on Pluto. The dwarf planet is mocking me.

-What would you give up to make mac ‘n cheese not bad for you? Your left foot? Mad Men? Coffee? Cotton?

-Would you rather never speak again or never hear music again?

-I wish I could stay up late and get up early. I hate that you have to pick one.

Sunset from Beverly Blvd